It's not about the nail

It’s not about the nail

Do you ever get the feeling that you are not listened to?

See, this woman feels the same in it’s not about the nail …

“Don’t try to fix it. I just need you to listen.” Every man has heard these words. And they are the law of the land. No matter what.

The message that I took away is that sometimes we need to step back, pause and listen. Really listen. Not just to what the person is saying, but to what they AREN’T saying. Do they want a solution? Did they ASK for a solution? Or do they want empathy and validation? Is our view of the problem the same as theirs? What need are we trying to fill for our self in our response?

Even though it seems clear as day that this poor woman’s headaches and snagged sweaters could be resolved by simply yanking that nail out of her forehead, that’s not what she’s asking for. Never once does she say to her husband “Could you help me fix this problem”. She just wants to be heard!

Description from Bring Change to Mind

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